• The last 6-8 months have been fairly intense work on the upcoming Inner Excellence workbook—I’m super excited to share it with you!

• This is Day 5 from the workbook (which is essentially me coaching you, the reader, for 90 days.)

• Thank you so much for your patience between blog posts while I create the workbook—and thank you to the over 200 volunteers who’ve provided feedback.

• The next Inner Excellence retreat is in New York at by far the lowest price ever: $525 USD, September 18-20, 2026. (Our YWAM Retreats in Mexico are about $2500/person, but also include building a house).

• We are considering a private retreat in Spain in mid-November—please reply to this email if you are interested. There’s only space for around 15 attendees.

Note: Please pray for what the International Rescue Committee lists as the top three humanitarian crises in the world right now: the civil war in Sudan, where tens of millions of people are in desperate need, the occupied Palestinian territory, where over 70,000 people have died in the last two years, and South Sudan, where the risk of civil war is escalating. Go to Amnesty International or International Rescue Committee to see how you can help.

Day 5: The Five Great Mistakes (Most People Make)

The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. – Henry David Thoreau, Walden (1854)

As we get going on this journey, I want to share with you some of the most common mistakes people make as they go through life, for you to consider along the way.

1. Disordered loves.

Mistaking what truly matters to your heart. Attachment to what’s temporary. Playing in a mud puddle when the whole ocean is offered. Allowing things that only give surface-level satisfaction and temporary pleasure to take the top place in your heart. Conforming to what the surrounding culture says is great and missing out on fullness of life.

Our default is to love most what’s most helpful to our circumstances or pleasurable to our senses. This creates instability because we live in an unstable world and so we spend our lives constantly trying to be more secure and comfortable. This leads to attachment to what we want but can’t control, busyness, and to hurry. It becomes a lack of presence, and when we’re not present we miss so much: beauty, opportunities, love, wisdom, courage, depth of understanding, meaning, and fulfilling relationships.

2. Self-deception.

Not fully examining your life. Not realizing that human nature is self-centered and that this default moves you toward many potential personal difficulties like conformity, people-pleasing, comparison, envy, and anxiety, to name a few. Being wrong about yourself and building your life on this misunderstanding.

Believing your role as a parent is fulfilled by spending “quality time” with them.

Imagine a parent who views their role as providing a loving home for their kids and spending quality time with them—but then, when they’re with them, they’re not present. Well, that’s an easy one, be more present, right? But even if they’re present more often, what are the kids learning when they’re with them? If they’re not teaching and modeling sacrificial love, learning and growth, and the development of a purpose beyond themselves, the bottom line is that their kids will love most what the culture loves most (possessions, achievements, looks, money, and status—PALMS), which makes it unlikely that they’ll ever reach their potential or live their best possible life.

3. Lack of ego mastery: Taking things personal and having to be right

The ego is the part of the mind that’s always threatened, always comparing, and always putting you on trial—and the trial never ends. With the ego always judging, you constantly have to watch what you wear, say, and do, and it always has to measure up, because if you don’t, you’ll face the ultimate disappointment: social rejection. (Or so the ego says.)

This sets the stage for two big mistakes:

Taking things personally. Every time we take something personal (even if the other person was intentionally rude or mean), we limit the love, wisdom, and courage available to us as well as every other good thing.

Having to be right (make sure people know that we’re not wrong). We have to be right, because if we’re not, we risk social rejection, which is generally a human’s greatest fear. But if you’re willing to be wrong and rejected, your life will unfold with unexpected opportunities.

4. Using the wrong scoreboard.

Measuring your life by standards you’ll one day regret. Appraising your life in accordance with temporary things; confusing appearances with value. This could cause you to spend your entire adult life getting really good at something only to discover (too late) that it never really mattered.

5. Refusing to face death.

Until you face the fact that you will one day die, you will continually be afraid of what you haven’t faced, and until then, you’ll die a thousand deaths. But if you scroll to the end of your life and realize that day could come soon (even tomorrow), it will help you be present and grateful each day. Death is the ultimate fear, and once you embrace it, you can be free.

A warrior considers it his foremost concern to keep death in mind at all times, every day and every night… As long as you keep death in mind at all times, you will fulfill the ways of loyalty, avoid myriad evils and calamities, be physically sound and healthy, and live a long life. What is more, your character will improve and your virtue will grow. – Taira Shigesuke, Samurai (sidebar/in box)

Key Takeaway: The easiest person to deceive is yourself. If you don’t think you’ve deceived yourself, how would you know? Busyness is one of the great obstacles to the best possible life—spending too much time advancing your career or improving your circumstances, and not enough time doing the inner work necessary to live the best possible life.

Application: Which of the five mistakes do you need to work on most? What’s one small thing you can do today in that area? Comment below!

Substack paid subscriptions are open!

My team is still dreaming of how to make the most impact for all of you who want more Inner Excellence. It’s $7/month (USD) or $75/year.

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I wrote this article about how I think about my life almost 12 years ago, and I thought you might enjoy it.

Our next Inner Excellence retreat open to the public is in September in New York. Find out more here. I’m very excited to spend time with those of you who come.

Note: Please pray for an end to the ongoing wars around the world, especially Iran and Gaza, Ukraine, and Sudan, as well as an end to authoritarianism everywhere. Go to Amnesty International or the International Rescue Committee to learn how you can help.

You ever wondered if you made a big mistake and you should be living life really different? I’ve sometimes wondered if I was missing something, like really missing out, as in… incredible things are happening and I’m so close, like one good decision from catching up with it, whatever it is, being a part of it; but… no.

I wish I was better. Better at managing my life-things, the goals, the dreams, the people, the appointments, the expectations, all these thoughts, those sharp feelings, even the dull ones, which I think I hate the most.

So often my life has been hazy, a sleepy hangover from a long night and early morning, having to face a world I wasn’t ready for, a world that may not understand me. I felt numb and wanted to feel alive.

There’s times in my life where I’ve wanted to shout to the world, “Listen up! People! I’ve got something.” But I didn’t. I let the moment pass. I hate those missed opportunities, with the lack of courage, and the blow to confidence that often followed.

I hope today is different, that I’ll linger a little longer with the good moments, connect with beauty, see bits of the amazing that awaits. Perhaps I’ll create something, touch what’s never been touched, maybe soften the rough edges of something hard and imperfect, reveal a beauty no one has ever imagined.

I long to find something inescapably terrific, wonderfully romantic, truly significant, perhaps meaningless to the world, but powerfully real to me.

So many days have not been that way. They’ve been long… jagged… a zig here, zag there, not super directed or efficient, often lacking zeal, no real punch.

I want to uncover the mystery that hovered over my life, the snowy cloud that lingered when I wanted so much for it to disappear or lift just a little, enough to see the horizon, if only to capture a glimpse of the great hidden things I know are coming.

I know I’ve been dealt better cards than most. I’ve been given a winning lottery ticket, and I want to cash it in. I’m tired of holding it safe, keeping it locked up, occasionally peeking at it, holding it to the light, making sure it’s still real.

I want to toss it to the heavens, to the God who gave it to me, and let Him fling it to the four corners, then ride on the tailwind it creates, surfing in the wake of intense feeling, enjoying the adventure, the unknown, and wherever I land, to be content there, grateful to have life, to be loved so.

Love Jim

PS: Thank you to all of you who volunteered to beta-test the workbook. If you’re not already a beta tester, feel free to reach out by replying to this email or submitting the form here.

Note from Jim:

Hey family!

Long time no talk! To give you a little update, I signed a 3-book deal with Hachette Book Group on Valentine’s day, 2025. Inner Excellence, Best Possible Life, and the Inner Excellence workbook. The first two books are out, and the workbook is due to be published in January (The Inner Excellence 90-Day Challenge: A Workbook to Train Your Mind and Live the Best Possible Life) If you want to be a beta-tester (we’ve got a few more weeks of testing) just reply to this email or reach out here. I’ve been working hard on the workbook and thus have not had time to write the newsletter. But I’m making my way back! Soon I’ll write once a week again, and we’ll have live Q and R as well as other bonuses for paid members (it’s $7/month).

Our next Inner Excellence retreat open to the public is in September in New York. Find out more here. Our next YWAM Homes of Hope House build/Inner Excellence Retreat in Mexico is in November. So excited for both! Most attendees say the retreats are life-changing.

The article below was written by former NHL player Dustin Kohn. I hope you enjoy how he’s experienced and implemented Inner Excellence. I didn’t invite Dustin to write this, he wrote it on his own Substack and I saw it and asked if I could re-post.

Love Jim

PS

If Inner Excellence or Best Possible Life changed your life, I’d love to hear! And if you are up for writing an article about it, we’ll be taking guest posts on occasion.

There are two people who have changed the way I think more than anyone else. Both are named Jim.

Both have, in different ways, encouraged me to think more deeply about things than I otherwise would have, in a way that isn’t always comfortable or widely encouraged.

In a world where people often want certainty and instant gratification, I’ve come to see how difficult it can be to sit with uncertainty. This shows up not only in ideas, but in how we approach performance and life itself. Even among the people closest to me, this way of thinking can be met with skepticism or frustration, I think because uncertainty is uncomfortable, as is re-evaluating your belief system and the way you do things.

Both Jims, in their own way, point to the same idea: that reflection opens the door to something beyond ordinary performance and toward a more meaningful way of living.

The first was Jim Murphy. About nine years ago, I came across his work and had the opportunity to meet him. At the time, I was just finishing my professional hockey career, and my understanding of performance was entirely shaped by results. Success had meant making teams, earning ice time, signing contracts, and reaching the next level.

Through Inner Excellence, he introduced an idea I hadn’t really encountered before: that the highest aim in performance is not achievement, but who you become in the process when you commit to learning and growing every day. That reaching your potential comes from playing and living through love rather than fear, and from building an identity that is not dependent on outcomes.

I found the ideas compelling, but I don’t think I truly understood them at the time. I could explain them and agree with them, but I was still interpreting everything through the same assumptions I had always carried. Even when I accepted the words, I was still filtering them through a worldview built on achievement and external validation.

A few years later, I met Dr. Jim Denison while studying at the University of Alberta. He didn’t approach coaching as a set of answers or methods, but as a way of thinking. Much of his teaching focused on helping us examine the assumptions we were operating from without realizing it.

That idea had a quiet but lasting effect on me. Many of us move through sport and life with assumptions that feel like reality simply because they are familiar. We rarely stop to question where they come from or whether they still serve us. One of the central questions he encouraged us to explore was what would happen if the assumption itself was flawed.

Over time, that way of thinking began to reshape how I interpreted my experience in hockey and in life. It eventually led me back to something I had heard years earlier from Jim Murphy, but hadn’t been able to fully grasp at the time.

I had been operating under the assumption that achievement is the highest goal a person can pursue. Once I began to question that, I started to understand Murphy’s ideas differently because I had become more capable of seeing them.

In professional hockey, achievement is portrayed as everything. Progress is measured through external milestones. Making teams, signing contracts, and reaching new levels become the markers of success. Each one feels like it should bring confidence or fulfillment, but each achievement is quickly replaced by the next goal. The finish line keeps moving because the underlying expectation remains unresolved.

Over time, I began to see a pattern I hadn’t recognized while I was inside it. The problem was not that my goals were too big, but that they were too small. They were finite outcomes.

I have also come to believe that most high-level athletes and performers sense this. I’ve had many conversations with former professional athletes who, once they step away from the environment and have space to reflect on their careers and life more broadly, arrive at a similar understanding. There is often a recognition that this way of framing success is manufactured. It reflects the structure of the system we operate in, not necessarily the deeper truth of what drives performance, human potential, or fulfillment.

When identity becomes attached to finite outcomes, performance changes in subtle ways. The closer a person gets to a goal, the more pressure tends to build. The moment stops being an opportunity to express ability and becomes something to protect. Attention shifts from presence to consequence. The experience becomes less about expression and more about evaluation.

This is where performance becomes constrained. When something feels tied to identity, the nervous system responds accordingly. People become more cautious and controlled, and less willing to take the kinds of risks that allow full expression. Attention narrows, creativity decreases, and focus shifts from the task itself to the implications of the outcome.

The more I reflect on this, the more I see it extends well beyond sport. It is reinforced by the broader culture we grow up in. From an early age, success is defined through achievement. Education, sport, and work systems reward outcomes more than process, and over time it becomes natural to equate accomplishment with value. In many ways, work itself can become tied to identity in a deeper sense, where people quietly seek to justify their existence through what they produce or achieve, often without even recognizing it.

At the same time, a different perspective becomes clearer when people are at the end of their lives. Accounts from palliative care and end-of-life research consistently show that people rarely reflect on achievements as the most meaningful parts of their lives. They speak more about relationships, love, presence, courage, and whether they lived in a way that felt true to themselves. The emphasis shifts from what was achieved to how life was lived and who they became in the process. That contrast raises an important question about how we define success while we are still in the throes of it.

None of this is to suggest that achievement is unimportant. Excellence and ambition matter. Goals give direction and structure to effort. The issue arises when achievement becomes the highest aim rather than something that serves a larger way of living.

What I’m still learning to do is orient myself differently. I haven’t figured it out, but I now have a set of tools and a different way of seeing when I catch myself slipping into old assumptions. It’s something I return to often, and the truth is, it is very hard.

Because the world around us constantly reinforces the opposite direction. We live in a culture oriented toward visible markers of success: possessions, achievements, looks, money, status. These are constantly amplified and rewarded, talked about and pursued. Even when you intellectually understand there might be another way to live, you are still swimming in a current that pulls you back toward external validation.

I’ve come to learn there is another way to orient performance. Instead of making achievement the destination, the focus can shift toward what is possible for you. This means becoming more aware, more disciplined, more courageous, more present, and more engaged in the process of growth itself.

These kinds of goals are different because they do not have an endpoint. There is no point at which growth is complete or courage is fully developed. They are ongoing processes rather than fixed destinations. Every experience, whether “successful” or not, becomes part of that process.

When this shift happens, the meaning of performance changes. Outcomes still matter, but they no longer define the individual. Success and failure become sources of information rather than judgments of self-worth. Performance becomes less about protecting identity and more about capability and possibility.

In looking back, I see that both Jim Murphy and Jim Denison were pointing me in the same general direction, but from different starting points. Murphy gave me a philosophy of performance that emphasized becoming over achievement. Denison helped me develop the ability to question the assumptions that were preventing me from fully understanding it.

Together, they changed not only how I think about performance, but how I think about what it means to try to live a meaningful life. I’m grateful for both of them and the impact they’ve had on how I see things.

• If you followed me for the day you might think I’m strange. Good chance anyway. I think it’s a good thing. Maybe that’s strange.

• So excited for the Best Possible Life book launch tomorrow. Please consider sending a copy to a friend if you love them! (Perhaps send a copy to someone you would love if they were to apply the principles in the book. 😎)

• One aspect of living the Best Possible Life is that you regularly get the sense—perhaps like Picasso at the easel—that anything is possible. This may mean examining your beliefs.

Note: Please pray for an end to the on-going wars around the world, especially Iran and Gaza, Ukraine and Sudan, as well as an end to authoritarianism everywhere. Go to Amnesty International or International Rescue Committee to see how you can help.

I’m strange.

I know.

I do a lot of things differently than most people. As part of my morning routine I hyperventilate and then hold my breath and stick my face in ice water 4x. I do 15-20 squats or more as part of my going-to-the-bathroom routine. I play the same music, in the same order every day when I wake up. I always ask people’s names wherever I go, (except perhaps elevators). I tape my mouth shut when I sleep. I listen to some books/podcasts/sermons multiple times, often as I fall asleep (e.g. I’ve listened to the same five chapters of a book over 100x). I sit in a deep squat for two minutes when I brush my teeth. When I’m going good, I swish coconut oil in my mouth in the mornings.

Perhaps my strangeness comes from what I believe. Let’s take a look:

I believe…

* that everything I do impacts everything else I do (I try to remember that how I do anything is how I do everything).

* that there’s a universal positive, focused energy that, when you can connect with it, you become unstoppable.

* that the core of this universal energy is love, and when you remove all that’s not you, all that’s temporary and superficial, you’ll find love at the center.

* that I’m either walking in love or fear, in some measure of either self-expression and creativity or self-protection and comparison; selfless curiosity or self-centered entitlement. It’s always one or the other, every moment of the day.

* that my default is self-centeredness, and if I don’t have a specific plan to overcome this natural state, I will move towards fear.

* that courage is the great equalizer, because courage overcomes the greatest obstacle (fear) and accesses every other resource—and we can ALL take courage.

* that we have divided hearts, because we also have in our spiritual DNA the opposite energy. It’s a natural frequency that allows any human to connect with another human from any part of the world—the frequency of sacrificial love.

* that the greatest thing that holds people back in any endeavor is fear and that the most successful people in any field are still afraid, but they’re not afraid to be afraid.

* that Easter is real (Jesus was raised from the dead) and since I believe in that miracle, I also believe…

* that anything is possible—when you believe.

My life is not for everyone. In this season, I live out of hotels, eat almost every meal from a restaurant (or Whole Foods buffet), and do some strange things. But, like Martin Scorcese said, “The most personal is the most creative.”

May you live the creatively and sacrificially, so you can experience all the joy that awaits.

Love Jim

PS

Tomorrow, March 31st is release of The Best Possible Life! Remember to grab your copy online or at Barnes & Noble (in the US)!

How is it different from Inner Excellence?

It’s much shorter and written for readers young and old to delve deeper into the central crux of the issues raised in Inner Excellence—training the human heart. It’s a book about the spiritual life and serves as a concise summary of Inner Excellence. It also has:

• The Three Worlds Model - a model of living and performing that I use every day in my life and my client’s lives.

• The 3 Inner Excellence Principles — also principles I use every day and only briefly mentioned in Inner Excellence.

• An FAQ section for atheists at the back of the book — many of the major questions answered, like how can an all-powerful, all-loving God allow suffering and atrocities?

Pre-order your copy of The Best Possible Life here… ❤️

The Inner Excellence YWAM Retreat is sold out! ❤️

The Inner Excellence/YWAM Homes of Hope retreat is coming soon!! April 9-13 in Ensenada, Mexico. Check out the ​Inner Excellence Freedom Project website​ to register for the next one in November!

Substack paid subscriptions are open!

My team is still dreaming of how to make the most impact for all of you that want more Inner Excellence. It’s $7/month (USD) or $75/year. There’s regular Q and A — next one is in the works!

Instagram ​@innerexcellencejimmurphy​

LinkedIn ​@innerexcellence​

TikTok ​@innerexcellencejimmurphy​

Facebook ​@innerexcellence​

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At 11am PST, this Thursday, March 12th, I will be hosting a live Q and A for all paid subscribers. Please reply to this email if you have a question you would like answered!

(That’s in two days!) It will be 45 minutes long and should be recorded in case you miss it.

Note: Please pray for the families and children torn apart from militarized immigration operations in the USA as well as wars around the world, especially Iran and Gaza, Ukraine and Sudan. Go to Amnesty International or International Rescue Committee to see how you can help.

By the way, speaking of refugees, my team and I at Inner Excellence are visualizing and praying about a location for an Inner Excellence headquarters in the states. See the PS for more info.

Most of my meals I eat by myself.

As a performance coach and retreat leader I travel a lot. When I get to a new city one of the first things I do is stock the fridge in my hotel room. I’m a pretty heavy drinker, so I need to find a place to buy the drinks (and a lot of shots). Perhaps it’s a bit sad but I do most of the shots by myself. 😳

Some of you who’ve followed Inner Excellence for a while (or who’ve read the first version of The Best Possible Life) may know Principle #3 of Inner Excellence:

I lack nothing. I expect nothing.

It’s a powerful mantra and belief. It’s one I need to remind myself regularly. Especially when I don’t get what I want or the dreaded unexpected/unwanted circumstances that come on a random Tuesday.

You know, the times when you have plans and expectations and then suddenly you get cancer or something. Not my favorite. The thing is, many situations that I’ve greatly disliked in my life, like getting cancer, have been the best thing for me. Thus, I don’t need better situations per se, I need to learn how to handle them better.

So, when I travel in America, I try to find the nearest Whole Foods so I can buy my (ginger) shots and OLIPOP drinks to fill my fridge (yes, I’m a heavy drinker!). While I’m there I usually grab a meal at the hot bar/salad bar. But…. sometimes there’s no Whole Foods, and thus I may not get what I want (a tasty, healthy meal at the hot bar with my fizzy prebiotic soda).

I also look for the nearest Barnes and Noble cafe (to write and work) and hopefully a gym with a sauna and cold plunge, so I’m not writing short, choppy sentences when long, lovely ones would be so much better and more convincing (or at least engaging).

But what do I do when I don’t get these things? When I’m disappointed, frustrated, or have any feeling I don’t want?

Ok let’s get back to traveling alone, and more precisely, eating alone. Of course I would love to eat with you, my good friend, but you’re often busy with your own life. So alone it usually is.

I think the better question, however, than what it’s like to eat alone, is what should I do to deal with the feelings of eating alone. This is, after all, the real issue. The problem is not the wayward golf shot, the rejection letter, or the bad grade or review. The problem is the feelings you get from it—or perhaps more accurately—how you feel about the feelings you get when these things happen, and what you do with those feelings.

We all get nervous and afraid, but are you afraid to be afraid? Or are you ok with being very uncomfortable? This is one of the most important things you will need to learn if you want to live an extraordinary life (or just a really good one): how to get comfortable when you’re really not.

In other words, can you be ok with feeling really nervous? Are you willing to have that feeling that you dread? Are you ok with feelings of fear or loneliness or self-consciousness? Because if you are, then you’ve got options. The solution is not to avoid uncomfortable feelings, because then you’d never grow. The solution is to seek out uncomfortable feelings and embrace them, so you can get comfortable being uncomfortable.

The most important thing about you is your heart, and the most important thing about your heart is the energy that flows from it. Your overall state/energy is crucial—it greatly impacts all three pillars of Inner Excellence: your beliefs, your freedom, and your focus. The problem (unemployment, injury, setback) is not the problem, the problem is the state you enter when you judge it (the energy you create when you think negative about it).

Let me know how it’s going for you!

Hope to see you Thursday!

Love Jim

PS

Have you pre-ordered your copy of BPL yet? I’m confident it will dramatically impact your life and help you learn how to deal with unwanted feelings.

Pre-order your copy of The Best Possible Life here… ❤️

BTW…

Eating alone is exciting when you’re present to all possibilities; it’s when I’ve gotten caught up in circumstances that sometimes I need a hug! :) For the most part it’s exciting because I feel God with me.

The Inner Excellence Retreat Center - USA

We’re dreaming of a location in the Southern United States, possibly Texas or Florida. We’re not set on which state, so if you have a suggestion, let us know! Here’s the ideal: 10-20 acres or more, within 45 minutes of a major city, in a wooded area.

• organic gardens

• horses and dogs

• tennis, basketball and indoor pickleball

• pool and lots of sun

• Inner Excellence Academy

Perhaps somewhere from Dallas to Austin or wherever there’s lots of sun and beauty where God wants us! The main goal would be to provide a place to learn and grow and serve those most in need.

The Inner Excellence YWAM Retreat is sold out! ❤️

This next Inner Excellence/YWAM Homes of Hope retreat is April 9-13 in Ensenada, Mexico. Check out the ​Inner Excellence Freedom Project website​ for more information.

Substack paid subscriptions are open!

My team is still dreaming of how to make the most impact for all of you that want more Inner Excellence. It’s $7/month (USD) or $75/year. There’s regular Q and A (like the one in two days!) where I answer your questions and share some of the routines of thought and action that I do.

Instagram ​@innerexcellencejimmurphy​

LinkedIn ​@innerexcellence​

TikTok ​@innerexcellencejimmurphy​

Facebook ​@innerexcellence​

X ​@innerexcellence​

At 11am PST, Friday, Feb. 27, I will be hosting a live Q and A for all paid subscribers.

(That’s in two days!) It will be 45 minutes long and should be recorded in case you miss it.

On January 20th, 2026 I was diagnosed with cancer.

It was not my favorite way to spend a Tuesday morning. You know, wake up, brush the teeth, walk the dog, get the cancer, head to the coffee shop. It’s especially my un-favorite when I’m busy, when I have a lot of plans and hopes and dreams… which is, well, every day.

In my last post, I talked about what to do when disaster strikes. I said, first we need to know what your dream is so we can sort out what’s good or bad, so we can be happy or sad. From there we can decide what constitutes a disaster.

For my life, I’ve spent most of it trying to make it better, which I usually translated as easier. I wanted really great results and circumstances so I could worry less, have more great experiences, and do something good with my life.

But the truth is, we don’t know what’s good or bad circumstance-wise. Was it a good thing that Mikaela Shiffrin won an Olympic gold medal last week? Was it a bad thing Ilia Malinin, the overwhelming favorite to win gold in figure skating, placed 8th? All we know is that Mikaela got what she wanted and Ilia did not.

Well, we also know that they both put in long hours to achieve a goal, but the thing is, for countless reasons, Ilia may have gotten the better result. Better for his life, his family, and his future.

Was it bad that I got cancer? Was it good? The question is not good or bad, but the question is… if all things are here to teach me and help me, and they’re all working for my good, what’s the learning? How do I respond? Often times we don’t have the answers, but we do know that it’s all working for the good, and in the end it WILL all be good, and if it’s not good, it’s not the end.

I’ve got a book coming out next month…

Pre-order your copy of The Best Possible Life here… ❤️

And I believe this book (God-willing) is going to change lives all over the world. But, and here’s the painful part, if you want to be used by God, you have to have an accurate view of self. A selfless and therefore fearless view of the world. And if you want to do great things for others and change the world, you have to get out of the way.

Two weeks after my diagnosis, my amazing surgeon at Clayman Thyroid Center in Tampa, Florida, Dr. Rashmi Roy, took out half my thyroid and all the cancer. In one of the many miracles I’ve experienced in the last 14 months, there was no pain post-surgery. zero. What a gift.

Dr. Roy was explaining to me how surgery went afterwards as I sat on the edge of my rolling bed. All I heard was lots of words, then “perfect,” lots more words, then “really good.” (I was a little groggy). Now she could have been talking about how well she tied her shoes that morning, “perfect,” and how her co-workers called it “really good,” but personally I think she was talking about how the surgery went.

Either way, when I think about the cancer, I think about how God chose me to share his message of love, wisdom, and courage with the world, and the two weeks from diagnosis to removal was all training for me. I’m so grateful he chose me.

Love Jim

PS

The Inner Excellence YWAM Retreat is still on!

Here’s the official statement from YWAM San Diego/Baja regarding the violence in Mexico. We will continue to monitor the situation and keep you posted. If the violence spreads to the west coast of Mexico, we’ll sort it out (everyone will get a refund if we cancel or postpone). We also know, no matter, those in Mexico needing a house will still be in need.

Registration is open! ❤️ Watch the last build here.

The next Inner Excellence YWAM Homes of Hope retreat is April 9-13 in Ensenada, Mexico. Check out the ​Inner Excellence Freedom Project website​ for more information. Likely it will change your life. No experience necessary. Kids welcome.

YWAM (Youth With a Mission) is a non-profit organization that has a ​Homes of Hope division​ where they/we build a house for a family start to finish in two days. ​This is the only chance for the public to do an Inner Excellence retreat (you get both the full Inner Excellence retreat and YWAM house build) until November 2027. The spots fill fast so don’t hesitate (20 people is the cap). It’s possible we’ll build two houses (if there’s 40 of us) but that’s TBD.

Substack paid subscriptions are open!

My team is still dreaming of how to make the most impact for all of you that want more Inner Excellence. It’s $7/month (USD) or $75/year. Likely be monthly Q and A (at a minimum) and more sharing of the routines of thought and action that I do, as well as audio journals.

Instagram ​@innerexcellencejimmurphy​

LinkedIn ​@innerexcellence​

TikTok ​@innerexcellencejimmurphy​

Facebook ​@innerexcellence​

X ​@innerexcellence​

Note: Please pray for those suffering in humanitarian crises around the world, especially Iran and Venezuela, Gaza and Ukraine, as well as the eight families with loved ones who died dealing with ICE agents the past five weeks.

See bottom for announcements. ❤️

Before the cancer, before A.J. Brown, before the near mental breakdown, I was a dreamer.

I think if you want to do something really special with your life, you have to dream. I’ve been dreaming for a long time. Since perhaps 7 or 8 years old, I would tell adults I was going to be a professional athlete when I grew up. In every dream I was the hero.

I used to spend all day hitting rocks over the wall at Fenway Park and Yankee Stadium (although you might think of them as the woods beyond our backyard), but to me, the spot in the ground that I settled in for hours was far more than a batter’s box—it was a cathedral. Other days I was Magic Johnson or Michael Jordan shooting hoops for hours on end, hitting the last second shot to win the game.

Then, I got bullied. The dreams stopped. It wasn’t the normal bullying. At Lake Youngs Elementary, I was one of the leaders: smart, athletic, popular. But all that changed when one of the other leaders and I had a confrontation. I lost (at least I felt like I did—which is all that really mattered) and I tumbled in a freefall of lostness. I stopped playing football at recess—or playing anything. I became reclusive, which made me a target.

That don’t-want-to-go-to-school life carried into Meeker Jr. High School where my grades suffered as well. Seventh grade was rough until I made the junior varsity baseball team. Sports became my savior.

Eventually I got drafted by the Chicago Cubs (dream come true!) but then I got injured (dream over😔). I got a job with the Texas Rangers and the South African Olympic Team, but those were just layovers. God had bigger plans. I had to go find myself, or rather, find something that I could devote my life to, beyond myself, that I was willing to live and die for. For that, I needed time and space.

I became a performance coach, teaching professional and Olympic athletes how to have peace and confidence under extreme pressure. Life was great, but my writing was not well-known… until January 12, 2025 when a famous football player read Inner Excellence on the sidelines and they won the Super Bowl.

Snoop Dogg made a skit about it.

Fans read it suspended above the streets.

Philadelphia news anchors captured the meme.

Amazing.

Then, disaster.

Two and a half weeks ago I was diagnosed with cancer.

Let’s stop for a moment and look at the arc of my life:

• A star in elementary school, but then the bullying started.

• Got good at sports (all-state in high school) but in the most important category, social acceptance, I was a dumb jock. Began to wonder if I would ever be successful.

• The first two years of college were great (back to being smart, successful, and most importantly, loved).

• At Portland State University (PSU) baseball was great (All Pac-10 North) but I wasn’t accepted by my teammates. No friends.

• Drafted by the Chicago Cubs (dream come true!), but no friends and no success (in my mind). A vision issue ended my career after five years.

• Drove a truck for FedEx, downtown Seattle, Wa.

• Coach with Texas Rangers (few friends) and the South African Olympic Baseball Team (amazing friends).

• Two and a half years in the desert, five years writing and researching Inner Excellence full-time—followed by a near mental breakdown.

• Inner Excellence clients are extremely successful, then AJ Brown reads the book to help the Eagles win the Super Bowl.

Then, the cancer.

Ok, back to the main question: What do I do when disaster strikes?

Well, to answer that, we need to know two things first:

1. What’s your dream? We have to know what’s most important so we can sort out what’s good or bad, so we can be happy or sad.

2. From there we can decide what constitutes as disaster.

If for example, you want to live The Best Possible Life, one with amazing experiences, deep, enriching relationships, and feel fully alive, no matter what the circumstance, well… then you’re going to need training. And it’s going to, how do I put this… it’s going to hurt.

Your heart needs to be reconstructed (taught to love most what’s most empowering), your desires need to be recalibrated (so compulsions lean more towards compassion), and your will needs to be reoriented (towards sacrificial love). These are not a natural part of the human heart. They need to be learned.

Hmmm… maybe go for just a real good life instead? The best possible one may be a bit much.

So for me, I do want the best possible life—no matter the cost. That may sound macho or some sort of heroic, but it’s not really all that. It’s because I’ve thought about this deeply and tried the pleasure route. Either way, I’m gonna pay. Either way life will be painful.

Let’s say I go for the most pleasure and the least pain for myself (and my family). That usually ends up the most painful route, because it’s the most near-sighted and unaware. It leads to being attached to results and circumstances that I can’t control, which brings frustration and anxiety. It’s not fun. I know from experience (please don’t tell anyone).

So the key to handling disaster… is heart preparation; heart transformation. If you travel down the live-for-myself-life that I lived most of my life, you’ll be immensely vulnerable at any minute to be rocked by disaster.

But, if you train your heart (or ask God to), then you can learn to embrace every situation as training for you, because your number one goal is to learn and grow, and you know that everything is here to teach you and help you—it’s all working for your good (especially the unexpected/unwanted). And if it’s time for this life to end, you’ll know that you gave it all you got.

If you’re like most people, as you get older, you think too much and dream too little. But if you can get out of your self-protective life, you can dream big, big enough that your dreams will move towards how you can change the world, or just as importantly, change the lives of those in your world. You’ll know you’re dreaming often enough and big enough when you’d rather look foolish for failing than not risk at all.

And perhaps, God (or the universe) will reward you with training, to help you live your dreams—dreams as big as His.

Love Jim

PS

(Your training might even involve cancer.)

The Update

• I was diagnosed with cancer Jan. 20, 2026.

• I had surgery at Clayman Thyroid Center in Tampa, FL Feb. 3, 2026 (five days ago).

Going in to surgery there were many unknowns: Had the cancer spread? Would they have to take out the whole thyroid? Would I need radioactive iodine treatment afterwards?

The Result

• Margins were clear (the cancer was contained).

• No further medicine (or radiation) necessary.

• See the endocrinologist in six months for another ultrasound.

The Miracle

Beyond Kelly Mahoney from Hillpointe Real Estate’s sorting out the travel, the clinic/doctor, and the cost, there’s been no pain. Zero. The scar is huge (the cut is about three inches across my throat) and it was quite red, purple, and swollen. But no pain meds required.

Registration is open! ❤️ Watch the last build here.

The next Inner Excellence YWAM Homes of Hope retreat is April 9-13 in Ensenada, Mexico. Check out the ​Inner Excellence Freedom Project website​ for more information. Likely it will change your life. No experience necessary. Kids welcome.

YWAM (Youth With a Mission) is a non-profit organization that has a ​Homes of Hope division​ where they/we build a house for a family start to finish in two days. ​This is the only chance for the public to do an Inner Excellence retreat (you get both the full Inner Excellence retreat and YWAM house build) until November 2027. The spots fill fast so don’t hesitate (20 people is the cap). It’s possible we’ll build two houses (if there’s 40 of us) but that’s TBD.

Substack paid subscriptions are open!

My team is still dreaming of how to make the most impact for all of you that want more Inner Excellence. It’s $7/month (USD) or $75/year. Likely be monthly Q and A (at a minimum) and more sharing of the routines of thought and action that I do, as well as audio journals.

Instagram ​@innerexcellencejimmurphy​

LinkedIn ​@innerexcellence​

TikTok ​@innerexcellencejimmurphy​

Facebook ​@innerexcellence​

X ​@innerexcellence​

Note: Please keep in your prayers the humanitarian crises around the world, especially Iran and Venezuela, Gaza and Ukraine, as well as the families of Renee Good and Alex Pretti (killed by ICE agents in Minneapolis).

When you find out you have cancer, at least in my experience, you run.

You run to whatever you think may hold you. And if you have nothing like that, well, that would be super scary.

On January 8th, I flew to Istanbul, Turkey from my place in La Fustera, Spain. Actually first I drove 90 minutes to Valencia to spend the night at the house of some great friends. Once I got there I received a text: your flight is cancelled. I also almost cancelled.

I’m a performance coach, I teach professional athletes and leaders how to perform better than they’ve ever performed, and most importantly, how to live meaningful, fulfilling lives with amazing experiences and deep, enriching relationships.

I’m always looking to learn and grow in every way—for myself and all of you in our Inner Excellence community. Memorial Hospital in Istanbul has the most comprehensive health check-up I’ve ever seen, at a price far less than in America. Of course I had to see for myself. (Speaking of, you have to check out Project Wellbeing in Las Vegas—the best sport science training center I’ve ever experienced).

So Dorian, the personal translator they provided, took me from doctor to doctor: caridologist, dentist, dermatologist, endocrinologist, etc. for 15 hours over two days. MRI’s, ultrasound, stress test, blood test, colonoscopy 😳, endoscopy, x-rays…

It was only going to be maybe 8-10 hours, but then I realized I hadn’t had a colonoscopy in seven years and also have had some esophagus issues (constriction after eating); so a trip to see the Hagia Sofia with a side-trip checkup turned into 15 hours over two days and zero magnificent mosques or churches. Thus, I found myself in a huge, loud, whirring machine with a brace around my head, clamped down just over my nose for 25 minutes in Istanbul.

As a performance coach, I want to be the best in the world. It’s an exciting pursuit. In some ways, it was easy to start: Find out who performs the best in the world and study them. And after a year or two of research (perhaps in the desert) you’ll find that to be your best in any sport, performance, or endeavor, requires understanding human optimization—training the entire person: heart, mind, and body.

And then you’ll learn that the key training is training the heart. Your spirit. Your will—where your greatest hopes and biggest fears reside. And that training is the most important thing you’ll ever do—training your heart to love most what’s most empowering.

Last week a wonderful article in Golf Digest’s February issue came out about Inner Excellence. Here’s the editor discussing our round of golf at Winged Foot (you need to buy the magazine or be a subscriber to read the actual article).

Golf Digest February 2026

Here’s an excerpt from the Golf Digest article “You Gotta Talk To Jim.”

Golf instructor Michael Breed (host of A New Breed of Golf on Sirius XM PGA Tour Radio) read the article and immediately texted Max Adler (the editor) and said “I gotta talk to Jim,” which interestingly, is the name of the article. Michael and I had a wonderful chat on his show about excellence and living the best possible life, which has one foot in joy, and one foot in suffering—which brings me back to Istanbul.

During one of the many ultrasound exams, they found a 3cm nodule on my thyroid (I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s hypothyroid years ago) and did a biopsy. Actually they ended up doing three biopsies; the other two were from the endoscopy/colonoscopies (no news yet).

The phone call

At 8am, Monday Jan. 20th I had a video call with the doctor in Istanbul (with my amazing assistant Ryan) to hear the biopsy results. Essentially, in my mind anyway, biopsy results are binary. You either have cancer or you don’t. I looked in the mirror in front of me as I sat in my hotel room in Manhattan. The phone rang. Ok, here we go…

The doctor smiled, asked how I was doing, I said, “Good.” He said he has the results of the biopsy. I said, “Cool.” He said:

The biopsy is malignant. Papillary thyroid carcinoma.

I stared at him for a moment. I said, “That’s cancer, correct?” He said yes. The rest of the call was a bit of a blur, but he said they would need to remove my entire thyroid in the next few weeks followed by radioactive iodine treatment afterwards (where they isolate me for 48 hours).

I hung up the phone and stared at the face in the mirror. It was a moment, just God and me. A surreal moment. In these moments we find out who we’ve become and what we’ve worshipped.

I thought of telling my nieces and nephews. But as I found out the long-term survival rate (98%), I slowly started to realize… my dream is to make a difference in the lives of people around the world. And for the kind of difference I want to make, I need much more God and much less Jim. I need training. Most of my life has been basically, “What’s in it for me?” Of course I try not to be that way, but it’s the default human nature. So… training it is.

January 12 (J12)

Then I thought back on 2025. The most extraordinary year of my life. It started with mom on her death bed, business and life slow and somber, and not enough cash in my checking account to pay my credit card bills for the first time in years. Then on January 12, wandering around downtown Dallas by myself, the question arose:

Jim, would you rather own that skyscraper straight up, no debt, and have whatever hundreds of millions of dollars it’s worth, or… would you rather have written the book The Best Possible Life: How to Live WIth Deep Contentment, Joy, and Confidence—No Matter What?

(Note: Best Possible Life gets re-released March 31, 2026.)

I thought, “Nope, I wouldn’t trade it for the skyscraper.” What I learned writing that book, let alone what it’s going to do for people’s lives… I wouldn’t trade it for hundreds of millions of dollars. I thought, “Well, that’s pretty cool. At least you got that.”

A few hours later… my life changed.

AJ Brown

A camera filmed AJ Brown reading Inner Excellence on the sidelines—during the Wildcard playoff game. The book had sold 10 copies the first 11 days of January, then sold 100k that week, 200k in three weeks, and 500k for the year. It became a New York Times #1 bestseller (which I had an affirmation of on my phone for years). I signed with United Talent Agency, received a three-book deal with Hachette Book Group, met extraordinary people, did 300+ interviews…

The most amazing part of 2025? Knowing that God is with me, that he chose me (me!) to share his message of love, wisdom, and courage. That I was part of his plans. Everything else was a distant second.

When you feel the God of the universe chose you to do great things, well, there’s no greater feeling in the universe.

One thing that was so helpful to me this year was learning that it’s ALL training for me. My whole life. God is training me for eternity, and he’s using this life to do it. You know, I wish the training came in a PDF with a latte. That would be ideal.

But, we need the hard times to become strong, less self-reliant, more open, vulnerable yet powerful… I need to surrender my little strength in order to connect to the awe and wonder of the universe. So many times this year, when things were difficult, God would show me that he’s training me. And often he could have let things unfold easily and without a hitch, but he put the hitch in there to teach me to rely on him, not myself.

It’s extraordinary to realize God is training you—for the big plans he has for you. It’s what I wish for you. That you will remember in the tough times in your life, that God is training you.

The Jacket That’s Two Sizes Too Big

The times when you have no idea why something is happening, remember this from my spiritual mentor, Nick Osborne (Tofino, BC):

Sometimes in life God gives you what feels like a jacket that’s two sizes too big. You look at your life circumstances and are really uncomfortable, and things don’t seem right. Well, many times it’s because God gave that two-sizes-too-big-jacket-of-a-circumstance so you would stop trying to use your own strength, so you would learn to love him for who he is, not what he can get you.

But then, as soon as you grow into this jacket and get comfortable with it, the next jacket is two sizes too big as well!

My number one goal every day is to learn and grow, and I need discomfort for that to happen. Like a butterfly struggling to break out of it’s cocoon, I need challenges to become who I can become.

Tampa Bay, Florida

My friend Kelly and I fly to Tampa today, Feb. 2. Tomorrow, Feb. 3, God-willing, I’ll have an ultrasound on my thyroid, followed by surgery (if needed) to remove anything unnecessary in my throat. God did so many miracles last year I’ve lost count, but another one is getting sorted at Clayman Thyroid Surgery Center in Tampa, FL. Kelly (Mahoney, co-founder/partner at Hillpointe Real Estate who had a recent Inner Excellence retreat for his leadership team), organized the entire thing (so grateful!).

I believe that it will go perfectly and that I’ll be completely healed afterwards. But of course many things are possible: I could not wake up, or find out that cancer has spread and I will die soon. But that’s small potatoes.

The truth is, you’re going to die as well as me, and it may be much sooner than you think. But will you fully live? THAT is the far bigger question.

Love Jim

PS

The next Inner Excellence YWAM Homes of Hope retreat is April 9-13 in Ensenada, Mexico. Check out the ​Inner Excellence Freedom Project website​ for more information. Likely it will change your life.

YWAM (Youth With a Mission) is a non-profit organization that has a ​Homes of Hope division​ where they/we build a house for a family start to finish in two days. ​Watch a video of last November’s build here​. This is the only chance for the public to do an Inner Excellence retreat (you get both the full Inner Excellence retreat and YWAM house build) until November 2027. The spots fill fast so don’t hesitate (20 people is the cap). It’s possible we’ll build two houses (if there’s 40 of us) but that’s TBD.

Instagram ​@innerexcellencejimmurphy​

LinkedIn ​@innerexcellence​

TikTok ​@innerexcellencejimmurphy​

Facebook ​@innerexcellence​

X ​@innerexcellence​